Communication Skills
By Sri Hari, Sat Dec 10th

/p>

Here is the easy way to learn about Communication skills withoutgoing through a 300+ pages book which, one can forget aboutbefore he finishes it

Always start with an Intention: Anything we start,including communication skills, usually has reason and astarting point. While we become conscious about this fact forthe obvious things like brushing our teeth to avoid tooth decay,we forget to give the same importance to our communication. Westart talking, go through all the niceties and then some howstumble upon the reason for conversation or make it up by thattime. The problem with this approach is that the message loosesits power. If you keep doing this often, you loose the power tobring it to work when needed. As a soldier polishes and keepshis guns fit even during peacetime, we have to keep our arsenalof communication skills handy to use, when required.

Forget techniques and learn principles:

A lot of managers are fond of using something called aSandwich technique. It is situation where you slip in a negativecomment or feedback layered in between two positive comments. Itis a good technique no doubt. But if you repeat it to the sameold staff for 2 years, it means you are not capable ofinnovating. People get conditioned to any one particularbehavior over time and so the technique looses its impact.

We all develop a favorite way of reacting to situations. Wegather these techniques

resagirl: Life is about surprises. So surprise me
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/92/109852992t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">37 years old from Mililani Town, Hawaii<br />Single hardworking mom of two kids... love to work out,be healthy.. Hang out with friends and family.. Into outdoor activities.. beach, hiking, paddle boarding, camping and fishing with the kids.. Free time is spent just being happy. I do not need someone to take care of me, but to walk beside me in this crazy thing we call life... No drama please.. I love soft kisses and being able to laugh...<br /><br />Someone who can make me laugh and smile without having to be near me.. One who takes care of themselves..It is ok if this person has children... One who loves doing things outside as well as at home.. Just basically a guy who knows how to treat a lady.. </td></tr></table>
chichilong: Stars are only so far away
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/38/109845638t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">29 years old from Springfield, Massachusetts<br />Hi, My name is Dolly. I love to go out occasionally and have a good time. I am a hardworking educated woman. I love to dance, play around, and laugh. I believe dedication goes hand and hand with success, but that you must have fun along the way. If you would like to learn more get at me. :)<br /><br />I am looking for a man to compliment my characteristics. </td></tr></table>
saichon: come chat to me... good time
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/32/109837732t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">29 years old from Udon Thani, Thailand<br />am nick name saichon(kai) i am sicgle i have 2 daughther.. i am looking for friendship ..... and marry.. love me and my daughter, and can chat with me i have time,,, to chat.. if you eant to know me.. come chat to me... ok :D my english good<br /><br />i want funny man can have time "to chat" with me ,, and enjoy ... and like goto beach and fishing like , love kid!!! i dont care abot old!! <br /><small><small>*** mfrssmfrss *** -1367793022 ***</small></small></td></tr></table>
beautifulx92: Live the life you love<3
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/10/109812410t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">18 years old from Denton, Texas<br />Im very outgoing & i love to have fun. :)<br /><br />Someone who is honest, loving & funny.</td></tr></table>
honestlindsey244: SEEKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/11/109803011t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">35 years old from Littleton, Colorado<br />I AM LINDSEY BY NAME.I CONSIDERED MYSELF TO BE A SINCERE AND HONEST WOMAN,I AM SEEKIN FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP..I HAVE A DAUHTER OF 8 YEARS OLD<br /><br />SEEKING FOR A SINCERE AND HONEST MAN</td></tr></table>
misss_you: where is my soulmate????
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/23/109793623t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">30 years old from London, United Kingdom<br />I`m a single lady who is very kind, loyal. A great meaning for me is a humans soul, circle of my interests is various. I like the literature, music, and cinema. personality traits are calm, honest, kind, loyal, flexible, elegant, sociable, sensitive, gentle, cheerful, optimistic, romantic. My perception of an ideal. I would like to see near me clever, intelligent, and reliable man which would require my emotional heat, capable to like and respect the woman. I have to let you know as well, that am an honest person as I have said and I have to be honest with that. I don`t have any boyfriend at present now, cos am in a serious relationship with you who I love. I`m a great giver because Iso much believes in the multi
piyanuch: i am Oumi
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/72/109784072t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">28 years old from Roi Et, Thailand<br />Hi My name is Oumi .I am 29 years old and from Roi Et ,Thailand.<br /><br />I am looking for friend.</td></tr></table>
annemarie444: sense of humour,charm and intelligence
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/20/109777220t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">23 years old from Zürich, Switzerland<br />i am honest,self confident,romantic and smart and i am looking for a man who completes me in every single way..i don t like routine,i love nature,art,music and travelling.<br /><br />i am looking for a man who knows what he wants,who has the sense of humour,is intelligent and loves beauty....</td></tr></table>
Bonster10: Looking 4 New Friends, then who knows...
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/29/109760429t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">44 years old from Dallas, Texas<br />i will add stuff later.....soooonnnnn!! i promise<br /><br />i will add stuff later.....soooonnnnn!! i promise</td></tr></table>
cahleen: i need boyfriend !!!
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/57/109747757t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">21 years old from Angeles, Philippines<br />im cahleen 21 yrs old .. single no kids .. want to meet a man that acceptable and fun to be with ..<br /><br />honest .. acceptable .. fun to be with like me :*</td></tr></table>
ploy_ploy: Happy with my life
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/27/109744527t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">23 years old from Prachuap Khiri Khan, Thailand<br />hello! i'm Ploy, simple, understanding, honest, i'm easy to get along with but i'm serious and true in everything i say. I like going to picnics, outing,spending time watching nature. I'm not looking for lust. <br /><br />i'm not looking for a perfect person but i'm looking for true and real one for friends or maybe more,i want those who respect women,those who want to engage serious relationship, who has a great sense of humor, understanding, humble and honest. i want the one who can make me smile,who can understand my mood swings,i want someone who loves nature too..love me for what and who i'am</td></tr></table>
lovelybrian12: i love to do things to reach my parter..
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/91/109743191t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">21 years old from Texas City, Texas<br />I am a fun loving girl who lives life to the full! I work hard but like to play even harder!I enjoy nights out socializing with friends. No matter how hard I try I can't cook to save my life. my Weekends are spent catching up on sleep, seeing loved ones and shopping!I am a very outgoing, smart, and intelligent young lady who loves to have fun and is very adventurous. <br /><br />I am interested in a strong man whose first priority is family....ok well after God. I want a man who believes in the union of marriage and of its sacredness. But I also want a best friend and a partner to laugh, cry and hang out with.</td></tr></table>
Lilyr: Find True Love
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/28/109735428t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">48 years old from Hoboken, New Jersey<br />How are you, my name is lily, I am a Chinese woman, I am a lively woman, my life full of the sunshine and joy. My a fondness for is reading, music and tour, I also like at recreation in the home with cook a meal. My personality is bright and like to swim in summer. I hope to look for it a share the life happy companion.<br /><br />I expect from a man, he is will cherish one's family and certainly love his wife. </td></tr></table>
panwira11: true love & friend
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/80/109727480t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">39 years old from Hua Hin, Thailand<br />who is like asian lady , who slim , love nature , pet , blue sea white sand , love eat, love life , love travel stilled love working too i have pharmacy shop at hua hin city open evryday never close 8.00am-9.00pm i worked alot did not have time for find love so i think i prefer this way for find love ,,, i am very serious for find someone who good man for married bc i want to creat a warm family and lived with him forever ,, A man who i am seeking i like clean man , looked nice , smarth man , kind man , not quick angry , talk evrything with reason not lied , sincerely because everything that i want it was me too ,age 35-55 years and not fat it 's perfect for me ,,,,,If i find some my speacial of my life and if he don't want me contac
LollipopBaby: Kiss Kiss
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/90/109721290t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">19 years old from Pierpont, West Virginia<br />Hey my name is Vanessa im 19 years old and im a funny girl. I love it when men tell me what they would do to me detail by detail it makes me hott(: <br /><br />Tell me what you would do to me </td></tr></table>
serious32: Want to beloved again
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/78/109717678t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">31 years old from London, United Kingdom<br />I am really a sincere and honest person.am caring,kind,friendly very easy to get along witham,social,romantic,passionate.smart,intelligent,cool headed,adaptive,have a big heart and i do believe in the truth and honesty..cause honesty is the only key to human success and with honesty..our dreams will just be the greatest and the best of all..i know its hard to be completely honest.<br /><br />i am really looking for a man who is completely honest and sincere about his words and feelings whos ready for a long term relationship.who is ready to build up a fmaily with someone real..i want a man who i know i can have faith and completely trust with all my heart..cause to make a standard relationship it must really be based on trust.lo
prettyicekitty: Princess seeking her prince
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/99/109701499t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">27 years old from Bandera, Texas<br />About me:I am 27 years old, single lady . Trying to make a life and looking forward meeting that great man i will build a happy and lovely family with, I'm seeing the light at the end of this tunnel, and it's feeling good! There are lessons to be learned in all we do...finding the lesson is sometimes hard but who said this life would be easy! In my lifetime, I've learned that patience is a virtue and being open about things is vital to today's society. I'm me and no one's gonna change that! I'm happy at this point in my life and proud of the accomplishments I've made.I have been working towards my Master's Degree in Economic for a little over some months now, and I still have more classes and I'm a graduate again!! Eventually I want my
Helloagain2010: who loves America?
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/14/109684714t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">48 years old from Eindhoven, Netherlands<br />I live in The Netherlands but lived in the USA and working on getting back there. I need to stay in The Netherlands for my dad for a while first. I just have found a new job as a taxi driver for old and invalid people and busy trying to get a diplom as bus driver in general to enhance my chances to get a job in the USA.I have 2 little birds which I never want to be separated from and one dear friend who is a widow of 63. My hobbies are making 3 D cards and swimming if I have the time. Yes you read it right: no bible reading, for I chose to disfellowship JW but this religion is still in my heart. I don't mind if you're not a JW as long as we can respect eachother and don't try to change one another. However, conversation about ea
obuga1: looking for honest and serious man
<table><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://images.megafriends.com/pics/16/109629016t.jpg" /></td><td valign="top">29 years old from New City, New York<br />Hello there , i am by name is Rebecca 29 years of age single never been married with no kids... i am caring, good, loving, understanding, sexy, honest, faithful etc.. i am here looking for serious and rightful man who i can love and spend the rest of my life with ., will tell more about me later, thanks<br /><br />i am looking for honest and serious man who i can love and share my life with ,,, i am just looking for serious one , thanks</td></tr></table>

by experience and learning from others.What we eventually have forgotten is that they are justtechniques, and are replaceable. Something like softwareprograms which almost always get replaced by a better version.But since it works so well to us, we get possessive about it andfind our selves bound by it. It becomes difficult to break thatmould. A person in a mould is like a frog in the well. He haslimited reach and limited awareness. Technique is like givingfish to a hungry man while understanding a principle is liketeaching him fishing. So instead of getting all cluttered upwith techniques understand the principles driving them. You willfind many on my website.

Develop flexibility in language and in approach: Mostpeople will think being flexible means using all the words inthe Dictionary. Having a good vocabulary does not mean thatpeople have to run for a dictionary every time you speak.Instead, a good vocabulary means that you have created enoughchoices and variety in your language to suit the listening orreading requirements of many people. Flexibility is also neededin your approach to communication. Developing more than oneapproach is really good. If your style of approaching women isthe Nice Guy, try the cocky and funny approach. See how thatworks. Please do not measure any new skill by the initialresponse you get because, all new skills need to be naturalizedbefore it becomes effective.

As you develop flexibility, you will find yourself morecomfortable to live with and then others will also find youcomfortable to be with.

So, to be the survivor of the fittest in the field ofcommunication skills, always start with an intention in yourmind. Once you master this, your level of influence willincrease rapidly. Take away your focus on techniques and learnthe principles. This way you tap the source of power itselfrather than a branch. The last and most importantly, developflexibility in your language and approach. It will maximize youraudience and thus your power.

About the author:Sri Hari has been developing new insights in the field ofcommunication skills helping thousands break the mould and enjoya happier life. Get ataste of his unique perspective at his websitehttp://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/